The 12 Days of Momness

On the twelfth day of Momness, my toddler gave to me… 12 hairs a-graying 11 attempts escaping 10 fingers probing 9 no’s ignoring 8 teeth a-knawing 7 spoons a-splattering 6 nights not sleeping 5 BROKEN THINGS!!! 4 almost words 3 judgemental friends 2 nipple tugs And a onesie covered in pee!!! Happy Holidays everybody ūüėČ

4 Things You Inevitably Take for Granted Before Kids 1

We’ve all heard the cautionary tales from the mom-warriors who blazed trails before us. They begged us to cherish our sleep and revel in our ability to poop without an audience. Maybe you listened and snuggled into bed a few hours early every night. Heck, viagra sale maybe you even meditated peacefully during your throne sessions. But even if you diligently heeded every smidge of advice about enjoying your pre-mom life, troche I guarantee you […]

5 Reasons Mom Besties Are the Best

There’s nothing quite like the camaraderie that is brought on by mutually suffering through parenthood. It can make a mom friend feel like she’s had your back for years.¬†Your mom best friends are the best thing to happen since wine started coming in growlers, and here’s why: MBFs don’t need an explanation. They don’t¬†flinch when you show up to their¬†house 20 minutes late wearing a dirty shirt and smeared¬†makeup because they¬†already know your little man […]

Why I Regret My Son’s Circumcision but may Circumcise Another (Hypothetical) Son.

Just like exclusively breastfeeding, sleep training, and pacifiers, circumcision has stubborn camps on both sides of the aisle. It’s one of those blacklisted parenting topics that you just don’t bring up in polite conversation. For me, the answer seemed straightforward. Men in my family and my husbands had all been circumcised. Although the idea made me nervous, it seemed like the right thing to do for our son for a variety of reasons. The doctor […]

5 Essential New¬†Words in a¬†New Mom’s¬†Vocabulary 6

Pro‚ÄĘcras‚ÄĘti‚ÄĘnap‚ÄĘping, link ¬†verb The action of delaying or postponing something less than exciting via the art of strategically napping when baby naps — or just straight up with the baby. Commonly done when baby-trapped and never as refreshing as one would hope. “I’m sorry I didn’t get any housework ¬†done this week; my procrastinapping got a wee bit out of hand as I chased the ultimate sleep.” Ba‚ÄĘby Trap, noun An uncomfortable position or activity […]

Fit Mom Core Workout – FREE! 2

I sometimes cringe when I think back to what I used to tell my mom clients. You see, prostate in my pre-mom life I was the Senior Wellness Specialist at a corporate wellness center. I had a wide variety of clientele, including pregos, new moms, and veteran mommy warriors. Despite my ability to provide the most current and by the book advice and guidance, I was truly ignorant to what these women were going through […]

On the precipice of a dream life. (A Gray Mom Thought) 2

I feel like I am drowning in the gray. There is a life I want. Taunting me for years; it sits just a handful of decisions away from being my reality. I stumble into it occasionally. For a day, maybe two, but I am never there for long. In this bright, pure-white life I am in control. I have my routines all lined up and executed flawlessly. I have the body/mind/soul that I always knew […]

Rainbow Dough Balls of Failure 2

So there I was minding my own business playing with the little munchkin when I had the fantastic idea to do some developmental games with him. Because you know, pills that’s how we anal retentive moms do. I opened my go-to hover-mom app, healing BabySparks. On today’s schedule for the savvy 7 month old we were to “explore texture with baby-safe playdough!” A lightbulb went off in my brain, “Didn’t I pin something like that a while […]