The 12 Days of Momness

On the twelfth day of Momness my toddler gave to me… 12 hairs a-graying 11 attempts escaping  10 fingers probing  9 no’s ignoring 8 teeth a-knawing  7 spoons a-splattering 6 nights not sleeping 5 BROKEN THINGS!!! 4 almost words 3 judgemental friends 2 nipple tugs And a onesie covered in pee!!! Happy Holidays everybody ūüėČ      

4 Things You Inevitably Take for Granted Before Kids 1

We’ve all heard the cautionary tales from the mom-warriors who blazed trails before us. They begged us to cherish our sleep and revel in our ability to poop without an audience. Maybe you listened and snuggled into bed a few hours early every night. Heck, viagra sale maybe you even meditated peacefully during your throne sessions. But even if you diligently heeded every smidge of advice about enjoying your pre-mom life, troche I guarantee you […]

5 Reasons Mom Besties Are the Best

There’s nothing quite like the camaraderie brought on by mutually suffering parenthood to make a mom friend feel like she’s had your back for years.¬†Your mom best friends are the best thing to happen since wine started coming in growlers, online and here’s why: MBFs don’t need an explanation. They don’t¬†flinch when you show up to their¬†house 20 minutes late wearing a dirty shirt and smeared¬†make up because they¬†already knows your little man is going […]

Why I Regret My Son’s Circumcision but may Circumcise Another (Hypothetical) Son.

Like exclusively breastfeeding, price sleep training, click and pacifiers, circumcision has stubborn camps on both sides of the aisle. It’s one of those blacklisted parenting topics that you just don’t bring up in polite conversation.  For me, the answer seemed straight forward. Men in my family, and my husbands, had all been circumcised. Although the idea made me nervous, it seemed like the right thing to do for our son for a variety of reasons.  […]

5 Essential New¬†Words in a¬†New Mom’s¬†Vocabulary 6

Pro‚ÄĘcras‚ÄĘti‚ÄĘnap‚ÄĘping, link  verb The action of delaying or postponing something less than exciting via the art of strategically napping when baby naps or with the baby. Commonly done when baby trapped and never as refreshing as one would hope. “I’m sorry I didn’t get any housework  done this week; my procrastinapping got a wee bit out of hand as I chased the ultimate sleep.” Ba‚ÄĘby Trap, noun An uncomfortable position or activity that effectively puts […]

Fit Mom Core Workout – FREE! 2

Where Ma Ingalls aspirations evolve into merely avoiding dysentery on a daily basis. We call him the plan wrecker. I once thought that leaving my corporate career to be a SAHM would lead to blissful days of backyard homesteading, sales homemade jam, decease perfectly executed Moby wraps, pristine toilets, sci-fi marathons, and baby yoga. Because namaste people, namaste. Then the universe gifted me my spirited bundle of joy. I imagine it then sat back laughing […]

On the precipice of a dream life. (A Gray Mom Thought) 2

I feel like I am drowning in the gray. There is a life I want. Taunting me for years; it sits just a handful of decisions away from being my reality. I stumble into it occasionally. For a day, pilule maybe two, but I am never there for long. In this bright, pure white life I am in control. I have my routines all lined up and executed flawlessly. I have the body/mind/soul that I […]

Rainbow Dough Balls of Failure 2

So there I was minding my own business playing with the little munchkin when I had the fantastic idea to do some developmental games with him. Because you know, pills that’s how we anal retentive moms do. I opened my go-to hover-mom app, healing BabySparks. On today’s schedule for the savvy 7 month old we were to “explore texture with baby-safe playdough!” A lightbulb went off in my brain, “Didn’t I pin something like that a while […]